Star of Light, Bangkok

Star of Light (Bangkok, Thailand)

See full review at www.bangkokbarfine.com

Like any good Line Rider I usually stick pretty close to the ranch on Soi Cowboy, but sometimes I have to go into town for supplies and I get a little lonely. Now when a cowboy gets that urge for painted ladies at lunchtime there isn’t necessarily a lack of options, but for this cowboy, there is a lack of quality options. I’ve been to the massage parlors that open early, but they seem a bit too sterile and predictable for a man with my unbridled natures.  I like something just a little more exciting and dusty.  That’s why I often hang my hat down at The Star of Light on Patpong 2.

How to Get There: A Trail Map

The trail is pretty well marked and even a pilgrim should have an easy time scoutin’ it out.  You can find the trailhead at the Sala Daeng Station on the BTS. Once you arrive, leave the station using exit #1 and keep walking in the direction the stairs spit you out.  You will see Soi Thaniya directly on your right as you descend, but do not be tempted.  Only Japanese men who throw around money trying to impress escorts are welcomed.  Next you will pass Soi 4, but if you are reading this post I am pretty sure that nothing down there would interest you (a bunch of horn chokers).  The next Soi is Patpong 2.  This is exactly where you want to be.

Patpong 2 is a relatively unassuming little path when viewed from Silom, but don’t let that fool you.  The entrance to the soi is narrow (only big enough for one team of horses or a single taxi) and first thing that you see are stalls on either side selling luggage.  Ride right on past this shit.  You will come around a little bend in the trail and then the road will open up and give you a clear view of the pool halls and bed houses.  You want to keep on ridin’ down the path about 150 yards (140 meters) past several bars and a Foodland shopping center (the Foodland will be your best marker during the day because the other bars are closed).  Once you pass the Foodland there will be an intersection on your left, and from this corner it is possible to see The Star of Light on your right hand side.

The Star of Light is modest to say the least.  It is almost hidden on the bottom floor of the bar complex behind the stairs that lead to the second floor. However, if you are near the intersection and find the stairs on your right, it will not be hard to locate.

What to Do: A Little Sage Advice

At this point you might think that I would tell you to just mosey on in, but you’d be wrong.  That is a bad strategy in this cowpokes opinion.  Now true the draw of The Star is strong, but if you just reach on in for the shiny coin you might just get your little fist caught in the log the way a coon would (read Where the Red Fern Grows).  What you need to do is take a moment and have a drink at the little outside bar just in front of The Star named Cleo Bar.  The name of this bar is Cleo but it is a little hard to see this written anywhere or to imagine that this a bar and not just a waiters station.  I happen to be rather fond of this little locale, however.

Some will be inclined to think that I am recommending Cleo Bar because of drink prices, but they would be wrong too.  I am not the type of rover to mention drink prices at all.  My philosophy is simple: drinks cost what they cost.  I have a few silver dollars clanking around in my coin purse and the cost of drinks is a little beneath this blog.  If you are the type of guy who scouts bars looking for the 80 baht beer, my suggestion to you is just stay at home with a 20 baht can of Chang and jerk off.

No, my reasons for suggesting Cleo are these: First, the company is great.  There are working girls warming the stools at Cleo who are top notch conversationalist, and if you fancy a poke the bar fine here is only 400 baht (I will mention bar fines and girl costs because the proceeds go to charity).  Not only that, but the old woman who runs the bar has been there since Silom was a dirt road (no shit) and it is fun to watch her fall asleep with her head on the counter (She also sleeps on the bar at night. The bar is her home. Give her a kiss on the cheek for me and buy her a drink.  She likes the blue ones.).  Second, and most important, sitting here gives you a chance to survey the girls at Star of Light to see which one you want.

Picking the girl you want is important before making your final approach because there is no chance once you get inside.  This is not because you get trapped, but because there is no inside to speak of.  Just like the saloons of old with massive facades to hide the rather cramped quarters within, the tiny storefront of the Star of Light obscures the even tinier inner sanctum.  Because of this, almost all the girls spend their time sitting at the couple of tables just outside the door.  More often than not they are drinking from a gallon jug that I once made the mistake of partaking in, which I am pretty sure was filled with turpentine. If you just saunter in without picking first, you will only get to choose from the girls that follow after.

Okay, now after your drink at Cleo, proceed over to the tables of girls and ask one–or more, as I often do–to escort you inside.

Rope and Ride

When you get inside you will begin to think that the description I gave here was not adequate to express the minute scale.  There is a bar on the back wall, and to the left are  booths.  That is it.  The entire place is maybe a quarter of the size of a single BTS car.  From here, you have two routes.  You can take a drink to get to know your little lady, or you can get right to business.

The business is this: you can get a blowjob for 700 baht, or you can boom boom for 1,000.  Either fee will be covered on your bar tab and not given to the girl directly.

Here is where it gets interesting.  You have two choices for where you want to experience the thrill that is Star of Light.  They are both excellent.

1. You can engage in licentious acts right there at the booth in front of the whole world or whatever freaked out Japanese or Eastern European tourist might wander in before doing a quick 180.  This is an excellent way to liberate your libertine nature and proclaim yourself among the upper crust of lechers.  If you can do this, you really have arrived.

2. You can request a private audience in the lavatory.  I have tried both options, but this is my favorite.  I just like the idea of having sex in the toilet.  I am sullied and wrong.  I know.  The bathroom consists of a shower on the left for the girls, and a sink, toilet and a small triangle-shaped vinyl stool that fits nicely into the corner on the right.

With either option, the girl will bring out her kit (a box with alcohol wash, condoms, lubricants, tissues, her personal cleaning supplies and mouthwash) and go to work.

Pay on your way out, and wear your boyish grin with pride.

Womenfolk

As a final note as relates to the women, I have two issues to mention: quality and glob baan (take away).  First, the quality of the women as relates to age and beauty, as might be expected, is not as high as your typical go-go on Soi Cowboy.  These girls will most likely not be getting paid to dance naked.  They make the majority of their money with their clothes on–mostly.  That is not to say that they are atrocious; they are not–mostly.  With that said, they are not the type of girls that I would barfine.  It is possible to barfine, but I am not really sure of the price because the idea has never crossed my mind.  I will give a quick anecdote to express my beliefs:

A friend of mine was with one of the girls, and after she finished she told him that she would like to be barfined and go home with him.  He looked at her and said, “Well, you are SOL (see the clever play on Star of Light) and you belong here.”

Restaurant Style Review

Name: Star of Light

Address: 140 meters down Patpong 2, just past Foodland on the ground floor. (would a street number really do any good?)

Phone Number: Really?  Do you want to make a reservation?

Hours: I have been told 08:00-01:00 by other lechers, 09:00-01:00 by the girls, and witnessed 10:00-02:00 myself

Transportation: BTS Sala Daeng, Exit 1 (You can get a taxi on Silom, but don’t get one that is sitting parked at the side of the street.  Walk past them and get a taxi coming down the road with the fare light on.)

Nearby Lodgings: If you feel the need to barfine a girl, you can take a right out of Star of Light and continue down the sidewalk until you see a hotel on the right.  It looks rather legitimate, but believe me, it is not.  Short-time and long-time rates are available.